Shocking News Revealed!
Mary of Swatch And Learn isn’t the squeaky-clean, friendly beauty blogger she pretends to be!
In this post, we air out her dirty laundry and show you physical evidence where all signs point to her being guilty as charged!
We also share quotes from eye witnesses with special insight into Mary’s whereabouts and daily behaviour.
Yesterday, on Instagram, was the first time her true nature was revealed!
If you spot her running through the crowds frantically to get to the nearest nail-polish display, call the police! For your own safety, do not approach her – she is considered armed and dangerous, as she is almost never without nail polish!
(If you’re reading this, Mary, you’re “BUSTED”! Stop the act, and turn yourself into the nearest Polish Police station. You’ll probably only receive 12 years in Lacquer Prison without parole. It’s the right thing to do! Think of how you’ve psychologically affected all the nail polishes by locking them up in total darkness in your Helmer!)
We’re pleading for the general public to take this matter seriously.
While her blog posts are upbeat and sprinkled with humour, don’t let that fool you. She is an evil mastermind trying to convert normal civilians to the dark side of becoming nailphiles, one polish review at a time!
Don’t get sucked into the madness!
The Special Investigations Unit has been keeping track of Mary’s daily polishing behaviour and following up on every lead. It’s only a matter of time before we kick down her door and take away all her nail polishes.
“A few days each week, I can smell toxic fumes wafting from her room”, said a reliable source who asked to remain anonymous. “She says that she’s just painting her nails, but I know better. She decapitates the poor polishes!”
Another insider has confirmed this, saying, “I’ve seen her unscrew the caps like it didn’t cause any pain to the nail polish!” With a shaky voice, he continued, “It’s torture, and something must be done to stop her before it’s too late! How many more nail polishes must be harmed before the justice system takes action?”
Nail polishes cradle their firstborns in desperate attempts to shield them from Mary’s morbid desire to use their blood on her nails! And it’s all for vanity!
Base coats and top coats pray to a higher power that, one day, Mary will set them free, so they won’t have to be overworked on an almost-daily basis!
And now…continue reading this post to see our Special Investigations Unit’s physical evidence. With your cooperation and perseverance, perhaps justice will be served! Help us lock Mary away, so our nail polishes and their relatives can sleep soundly at night.
Exhibit A: Snow Bunny Nail Art
Using our specially devised scanning tool, the Special Investigations Unit was able to uncover the true dark side of her seemingly happy snow bunny nail art!
Note the polish blood-spatter pattern. It reveals that a blunt force was used to claim the polish’s life.
Exhibit B: Archie Comic Nails
Under the truth-revealing light, we detected the sarcastic expressions of the characters from the Archie comics.
Exhibit C: China Glaze Graffiti Glitter
“I couldn’t sleep with the lights off for many nights after I made this gory discovery!” A Canadian living downtown told reporters.
Exhibit D: OPI Lights of Emerald City
Even the coroner felt sick to his stomach when he discovered the poor fate of this innocent nail polish!
The cause of death was determined to be the result of ingesting square razor blades, as you can clearly see in the photo below.
Exhibit E: Skull Nail Art
You may want to shield your children’s eyes. This next photo is very graphic!
Mary, the sicko, forced the polish to consume large amounts of corrosive substances. The once-happy faces of young lacquers suffered this flesh-eating catastrophe!
And there you have it! We have all the evidence needed to lock her away for good!
It’s about time that the torture and atrocities of Mary’s evil ways were revealed for the world to see.
If you ignore these warnings and proceed to visit Swatch And Learn, do it at your own risk! She will continue to infect everyone with her nailphile illness and bring pain and suffering to innocent nail-polish lives, unless she is stopped!
Edit: Some of the nail polishes mentioned in this public announcement were given to Mary by PR. At this time, we are unable to confirm or deny if PR is in cahoots with Mary’s devious ways. We assure the public that our best investigators are hot on the trail!